Tuesday, November 4, 2008

What can I say? I'm proud to be an American tonight.

Tonight is a night we will all remember. Not only for Americans, but the whole world. We're entering a new world, a world where peace will reign, hope will be abundant, and reconciliation will be our priority. The years of fear are over.

Obama is our new President.

No more Bush, no more Palin, no more Joe the Plumber, no more Cindy McCain, no more elitist Republicans preying on our poor country folk, no more war, no more evil.

A new day has come.

We are free from the past. Too bad so many of America's men and women perished overseas, in Iraq. I pray for them everyday, letting them know that they are loved and appreciated for all eternity -- for taking our leaders on their word, and working to protect us, exposing themselves to horrible, inhumane conditions, even though they did so under the pretense of deliberate lies that misled and confused us, the American people.

But those days are over. Obama is so much more than the man. It's the movement.

It's for us. Enjoy it, my fellow Americans.

Tired after work.

I hate being tired after work. It is not the tired of "oh, wow, I accomplished so much today I just need to relax." It is a type of fatigue that you get only from sitting in an office for eight hours. Your brain hurts slightly, your body is sore for some reason -- it's not like you were exercising -- why does my body hurt?

Working in an office sucks. It's simply the truth. But when you're in the office, you think about how great it will be when you get home, how much you will accomplish, how you can't wait to do y and z. But no...not me.

I come home, strip off my street clothes, and usually sit in my bed for like three hours, sometimes falling asleep. Isn't that sad?

I am trying to push past my ennui by typing this blog posting. I just want to have my life back...not selling forty of them in exchange for...for what? Clothes, food, money to buy shelter?

I need to rethink my priorities.

Having nothing to do at work.

Okay, at my new job, there really is nothing to do. While my boss is out of town, he gave me an assignment to do something...but the person before me already did it. However, the person who did it before me did it in such a weird, illogical way that it took me five, long, frustrating days to figure out it had already been done. It was depressing. I volunteered to do something for someone else, and I was allowed to.

Now, I would be fine with having nothing to do...but...there's a huge reason why it bothers me. Everyone in the office can see my computer monitor. When they walk out of the office [which they seem to do about once every 10 minutes], they all have a chance to see what I'm doing.

Do they look? Are they checking up on me? I have no idea. I catch myself trying to get a glimpse of what is on someone's computer screen from time to time.

Regardless, I still have to sit there and pretend I'm doing something. Luckily, there are only five weeks left before I leave this gig. It's only temporary work for a school requirement.

But what has this taught me? Don't be responsible for other people telling you what to do. Does this lesson help me in regard to my current situation? Not really, because I can't go up to someone and say "I'm going to decide what I'm going to do today" -- because there is no person to say this too. I'm just left all alone with nothing to do, but with the paranoid feeling that someone is watching me.

So I am going to create my own jobs or job. There is a lot of resistance against this in my family. They think I should get some "stable" job with the government so I won't get fired, get health benefits, and so on. But what would be the point of that?

I've already socked away a lot of money. I want to buy property, like a condo, so I can have a place to live where other people [Condo board excluded] really don't have any say in what I do. I want to live, discover, have fun. Having some office job, while perhaps "stable" [I don't even believe that's really accurate anymore when people get laid off all the time -- government workers included, but maybe at a lesser rate] is the opposite of living, discovering, and having fun.

My relative is like, but you will meet new people! Well, I met new people at this new job, and while they're "nice", it's not like some huge new social outlet. I'm beginning to suspect that some of the people are gunning for each other. But I'm not going to get into that.

However, this job was important because it taught me several things, as seen in the list below:

1) I don't like people keeping tabs on me.
2) I don't like having to be stuck in an office until a designated but arbitrary time.
3) I don't like having nothing to do, or having things chosen for me to do that are a) poorly thought out, b) boring, or c) unnecessary.
4) It's not fun to spend the whole day with people, but feel uncomfortable or weird around them.
5) I like working with people -- sometimes.

should you give up on your blog?

Personally, I have met many people who first are very excited to start blogging. Everyone starts blogging for different reasons -- someone may want to express themselves creatively, others may want to become part of a community, and some do it strictly for monetary profit [the last category usually gives up fastest.]

Anywho, I am here to encourage you to never give up on your blog! You should always be posting your ideas, thoughts, questions about life in your blog so other people can read them.
Plus, you never know who is going to read your blog and what impact that will have on your life!
remember to clean and prowl away from creative ennui...lol that's so badly said but that's what i came up with in adobe.

For example, that chick that wrote that movie called Juno. She kept a really nasty blog that some guy thought was something else [starts with p and rhymes with horn], but he was a Hollywood producer and then she got a movie writing deal and got to win an Oscar.

You may not care about that story, even I don't really care, but there's still an important message! Never give up! Wouldn't you rather write screenplays at home than go to a job where youo're yelled at for being late to a meeting [and the person doing the yelling is late almost ninety-five percent of the time]. I know I would!

That is why I am going to start my next project: Maximum Light - One Screenplay per week. Yes, I am going to write one screenplay per week and see if I can replicate the success of Juno writer Devil Kody or whatever her fake name is.

I am going to do this because it is most important for me to become a better writer, out of fear more than anything else. I see so many blogs written by people who are, unfortunately, writing in such broken English. I want to become an excellent writer who writes only in excellent english!!

I just want to express myself. It hurts to keep so much in for so long. I want to express and explore different forms of expression...writing, organizing, dressing, and so much more.