Thursday, January 1, 2009

Yearning for authenticity.

A brand new year. I am starting this year by cleaning up my major living areas, thinking positive thoughts while I do it. I am thinking "this is a place of evolution, progress, growth, and this is just for me."

My only goal for the new year is to set smaller goals. Not huge ones that never get done.

I have people here for the holidays. I realized that one of them is NPD [narcissistic personality disorder]. It now makes so much sense. Ugh, they're not fun to be around though and are constantly craving attention. Here are the symptoms:

* grandiose sense of self-importance
* preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
* belief that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
* need for excessive admiration
* sense of entitlement
* takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
* lack of empathy
* envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
* arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

They have the ability to make you feel like you are going crazy yourself because their behavior is very odd and subtle. But I think the lesson this teaches me is that you have to be really, really careful who you open up too.

My new job also taught me another thing about relationships. Sometimes the people that are easiest to be friends with are those who are you should really avoid being friends with. The people who are kind of distant and not so easy to get to know are the ones that you should really try to become close too, if you want to. Does this make sense?

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